I just helped a friend with some college homework yesterday and it reminded me of why I never want to go back to school again. I guess I will never fully understand why someone will write a non-English course textbook with such ridiculous language. Then again, maybe I'm just a moron. Actually, that's probably the case because I don't read books very often... if ever. Maybe 1 every 10 years or so. But why the hell does an art history book need to be written with such hardcore language. It seemed like every noun had at least one obscure adjective used with it. I don't know, it must be me being dumb, but I felt like I needed a dictionary at least once a paragraph just to try and understand whatever the hell the author was writing. Then again, why is it really necessary to write an art history book that way? It's art! Let the works be complicated, not the analysis.
The job is moving along. It took a while, but I'm finally starting to feel like more than dead weight around here... unless you're talking about right now at 10:30am on a Friday and I'm typing away on my blog... in which case I feel useless. I'm not going to take all of the blame though, all of my bosses are gone today and one of my business units is on a golf outing today. Hey, we didn't get invited to the outing so poop on them. I'll type on my blog if I want to.
What is it with people either not putting the TP on the roller or putting it on backwards? If you finish off the roll, toss the cardboard tube into the trash can that's 2 freakin feet away and load up the next one. I can't tell you how many times I see the new roll barely balancing on top of the finished roll. Seriously, is taking a dump THAT difficult that you couldn't possibly concentrate or have the motor skills to poop and change the roll at the same time? It's probably easier than walking and chewing gum... Seriously. I mean, it's not like you have to move. The TP holder is right there. I'm thinking I should post instructions with how to do it and paste it to the wall right above it. There's a reason why the TP holder is there. To keep your shit hands from rubbing all over the roll while you're taking care of the paperwork. Think about that the next time you grab a roll that isn't on the holder.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
yay
You know what's awesome? Writing about how cool things are going and then having them get fucked up within the week. The job is beginning to be frustrating due to the lack of training. I keep getting the work piling in, but I have no idea how to do most of it or who to talk to. I suppose that's what happens when working for a large corporation. Really though, I should only be blaming myself. After all... I'm the one that needs to be asking the questions when I have them. And at least I have a job. That's saying a lot here in Michigan and saying a lot more than the poor saps that keep getting laid off can.
The girlfriend and I didn't work out. IMO, it had a lot to do with the distance. Actually, it was probably mostly because of the distance. It caused unneeded stress and turned small problems into large ones. It's a real pain in the ass trying to fight stupid shit out on the phone every time. I found that many things never got resolved because we focused on just not being angry anymore instead of fixing the problems. Face time was fantastic but the rest of the time was... stressful.
So now that I have that extra time and I've been trying to keep my mind off of things, I picked up WoW again. I felt really guilty getting back into it. I'm going to try and take it easy this time around. Try to not stay up too late on work nights or let it be the only thing I talk about with my friends. Who knows what'll happen though. It's a terrific distraction though to escape the everyday bullshit... look at me justifying it again... fucking adiction...
The girlfriend and I didn't work out. IMO, it had a lot to do with the distance. Actually, it was probably mostly because of the distance. It caused unneeded stress and turned small problems into large ones. It's a real pain in the ass trying to fight stupid shit out on the phone every time. I found that many things never got resolved because we focused on just not being angry anymore instead of fixing the problems. Face time was fantastic but the rest of the time was... stressful.
So now that I have that extra time and I've been trying to keep my mind off of things, I picked up WoW again. I felt really guilty getting back into it. I'm going to try and take it easy this time around. Try to not stay up too late on work nights or let it be the only thing I talk about with my friends. Who knows what'll happen though. It's a terrific distraction though to escape the everyday bullshit... look at me justifying it again... fucking adiction...
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
What The?
Wow, it's been a long while since I've been on here blogging away like the good little blogger I never was. What has happened in the past almost 2 years? There's a lot to cover so I'll just put down the short version:
1) Quit playing World of Warcraft
2) Got a Girlfriend
3) Got a new job
For those who care to know more in depth, read on. For the rest who just like the short version, this is the moment you stop reading and go do a google image search for Hayden Panettiere nip slip. Try as you might, she's not only underage, but there aren't any photos of her boobies... yet. Oh, and if you do find some, let me know!
So WoW was becoming more of a chore than anything else so I quit. For those who never played, this wont make much sense to you. Yes, it's a game and it should be fun, but when they released the expansion pack, they took out the "fun factor" and turned the game into a grind. They added all of this new content for everyone to see but make the requisites to see the new shit way too mind-numbing. Rep grinds, difficult instances and late nights took their toll on me so I quit. I still miss the peeps I became friends with during my stay in the world within the world but it's probably better to stay away from that damn game.
On the girlfriend front, I'm actually surprised such a cool chick digs me... and I really didn't have to do much to make it happen. We got set up by her sister who thought she needed to date a "nice guy". Not sure where she got the idea that I was a nice guy but hey, it's working out so far. Whatever, I'm a sappy little bitch and she knows it. They all do.
The new job is the latest "big thing" for me. I have no idea why they hired me but I sure am glad they did. I needed to get out of the position I was in over at my old job. Doing the exact same shit over the past 3 years was enough. Especially with my awesome supervisor who felt the need to talk to me about the differences between breakfast cereals for 20 minutes or the time his wife stubbed her toe and she said "ouch" for another 15. Seriously, this guy had the social ability of a wet block of Gouda. It was always a pleasure to have him come talk to me about fabric softener while I was working on all of the last minute shite that came up on Friday afternoons. Hey cock-poker, how about you stop talking and help out? No? Ok, then get the eff out of my damn face and go talk to someone that gives two shits about your inane life. We shall see how the new job goes. So far, no nutbags bothering me while I try to work so that's good. Now if only I could find someone to train me...
1) Quit playing World of Warcraft
2) Got a Girlfriend
3) Got a new job
For those who care to know more in depth, read on. For the rest who just like the short version, this is the moment you stop reading and go do a google image search for Hayden Panettiere nip slip. Try as you might, she's not only underage, but there aren't any photos of her boobies... yet. Oh, and if you do find some, let me know!
So WoW was becoming more of a chore than anything else so I quit. For those who never played, this wont make much sense to you. Yes, it's a game and it should be fun, but when they released the expansion pack, they took out the "fun factor" and turned the game into a grind. They added all of this new content for everyone to see but make the requisites to see the new shit way too mind-numbing. Rep grinds, difficult instances and late nights took their toll on me so I quit. I still miss the peeps I became friends with during my stay in the world within the world but it's probably better to stay away from that damn game.
On the girlfriend front, I'm actually surprised such a cool chick digs me... and I really didn't have to do much to make it happen. We got set up by her sister who thought she needed to date a "nice guy". Not sure where she got the idea that I was a nice guy but hey, it's working out so far. Whatever, I'm a sappy little bitch and she knows it. They all do.
The new job is the latest "big thing" for me. I have no idea why they hired me but I sure am glad they did. I needed to get out of the position I was in over at my old job. Doing the exact same shit over the past 3 years was enough. Especially with my awesome supervisor who felt the need to talk to me about the differences between breakfast cereals for 20 minutes or the time his wife stubbed her toe and she said "ouch" for another 15. Seriously, this guy had the social ability of a wet block of Gouda. It was always a pleasure to have him come talk to me about fabric softener while I was working on all of the last minute shite that came up on Friday afternoons. Hey cock-poker, how about you stop talking and help out? No? Ok, then get the eff out of my damn face and go talk to someone that gives two shits about your inane life. We shall see how the new job goes. So far, no nutbags bothering me while I try to work so that's good. Now if only I could find someone to train me...
Monday, October 31, 2005
ROCK!!
I had something totally awesome to post about last week, but didn't have time to get to it while at work... so I didn't post it... then completely forgot what it was.
Bogs reminded me that I need to post more often on this damn thing so here I am.
I've been looking to buy a house lately and it's a pain in the ass. First, I called up Rock Financial to find out how much money my poor-ass could get. Speaking of Rock Financial, has anyone else been completely blown away by their recent radio ads? You know what I'm talking about. The ads where it has some really kick-ass 80's style rock guitar riffs and some schmuck singing "The Mortgage Ex---Perts." Then some backup singer chick, "800-333-ROCK!!!!". Then the guy comes back with, "100 years in the League!!". Yeah, by blown away, I dont mean "that's totally lame". I mean it's "so totally kickass that it blows your mind." Yes, David mother-fuckin Hall has finally struck gold with their ad campaign. Nothing says "Home Mortgage" more than White Snake singing 800-333-ROCK. Fuck you "Here I go Again", Hello Rock Financial.
Yeah, so getting all of this mortgage shit taken care of blows ass. Then I had to look at a realtor to help me find a house. I get this email from her this weekend letting me know that I'm too poor to afford anything. I'm beginning to think that me and my life-partner, DrDro, are gonna end up renting for the rest of our lives. We'll be the happy little homo-family renting for the rest of our miserable lives... with our 2.5 kids: 2 cats and a retarded dog.
Wish me luck with my corporate job this week. I cant say why right now, but I need it.
I dont know why because I never really liked the holiday, but I'm actually looking forward to having the kids stop by tonight to get candy. No, I dont like little boys and girls "in that way". I just think it's awesome to see how happy they get when I throw 5 candybars into their little pumpkin containers. I'm gonna end up being one of those crazy fuckers that goes overboard with all the decorations later in life... I can feel it brewing inside of me. Happy Halloween!
Bogs reminded me that I need to post more often on this damn thing so here I am.
I've been looking to buy a house lately and it's a pain in the ass. First, I called up Rock Financial to find out how much money my poor-ass could get. Speaking of Rock Financial, has anyone else been completely blown away by their recent radio ads? You know what I'm talking about. The ads where it has some really kick-ass 80's style rock guitar riffs and some schmuck singing "The Mortgage Ex---Perts." Then some backup singer chick, "800-333-ROCK!!!!". Then the guy comes back with, "100 years in the League!!". Yeah, by blown away, I dont mean "that's totally lame". I mean it's "so totally kickass that it blows your mind." Yes, David mother-fuckin Hall has finally struck gold with their ad campaign. Nothing says "Home Mortgage" more than White Snake singing 800-333-ROCK. Fuck you "Here I go Again", Hello Rock Financial.
Yeah, so getting all of this mortgage shit taken care of blows ass. Then I had to look at a realtor to help me find a house. I get this email from her this weekend letting me know that I'm too poor to afford anything. I'm beginning to think that me and my life-partner, DrDro, are gonna end up renting for the rest of our lives. We'll be the happy little homo-family renting for the rest of our miserable lives... with our 2.5 kids: 2 cats and a retarded dog.
Wish me luck with my corporate job this week. I cant say why right now, but I need it.
I dont know why because I never really liked the holiday, but I'm actually looking forward to having the kids stop by tonight to get candy. No, I dont like little boys and girls "in that way". I just think it's awesome to see how happy they get when I throw 5 candybars into their little pumpkin containers. I'm gonna end up being one of those crazy fuckers that goes overboard with all the decorations later in life... I can feel it brewing inside of me. Happy Halloween!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Bright light! BRIGHT LIGHT!!!
Just caught Gremlins 2 on HBO the other day... man what a terrible movie. First one, good. Second one, roasted shit on a stick.
Hey Luke Skytalker, you're a social retard. Fuck off.
My ass actually hurts right now from sitting on it too much. It's too bad I'm not fat so I'd have more cushion and could sit longer... but I guess sitting for more than 14 hours a day really isn't necessary since that's what I already manage to do. I'm beginning to form a slight beer gut, my eyes are getting worse, I have constant shit-taste in my mouth, and I'm about as pale as a non read-head can get. Yes, I'm playing way too much WoW. Stay away from this evil game people. Stay away.
I'm finally going to be leaving my safe little basement this weekend for the Sunshiny beaches of San Diego. Maybe I'll even head down to Tijuanna and see how many VDs I can get from the hookers. Who am I kidding? To all of the image-conscious people in the the Southwest, I'm going to end up looking like Paul Pfeiffer. I'm so in.
I fuckin hate flying.
Hey Luke Skytalker, you're a social retard. Fuck off.
My ass actually hurts right now from sitting on it too much. It's too bad I'm not fat so I'd have more cushion and could sit longer... but I guess sitting for more than 14 hours a day really isn't necessary since that's what I already manage to do. I'm beginning to form a slight beer gut, my eyes are getting worse, I have constant shit-taste in my mouth, and I'm about as pale as a non read-head can get. Yes, I'm playing way too much WoW. Stay away from this evil game people. Stay away.
I'm finally going to be leaving my safe little basement this weekend for the Sunshiny beaches of San Diego. Maybe I'll even head down to Tijuanna and see how many VDs I can get from the hookers. Who am I kidding? To all of the image-conscious people in the the Southwest, I'm going to end up looking like Paul Pfeiffer. I'm so in.
I fuckin hate flying.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Standing in front of the fan when someone shits in it
First, the good news. CPB emailed me back and I'm gonna make an effort to keep in touch now. Who knows what we're calling eachother now; friends, cocks, aquaintences, former lovers... We'll just see how things go. Gotta get out for a beer with him in Ypsi.
Now the funny news. Seems as though EB got into a little bit of trouble for writing some comment about his ex fucking a meat-head. What a joke. Granted, EB did fly off the handle a little bit, but he in no way, shape or form said anything about her cheating on him. He stated that since he didn't know why the fuck she broke it off and the only reason she could come up with (and a really dumb one at that) was because she'd be moving to CA eventually. When's eventually you might ask. Hmm... recent estimates point to about 1 year. That's right ladies and gentlemen, her reasoning was to break up with him was because she would probably be moving to CA in about a year. I call shenanigans!
To top this all off, since she's a soccer chick living with other soccer chicks, they all have the sorority mentality and come running to her aid like EB did something wrong. Heaven forbid he actually be upset at the fact she broke up with him for quite possibly the dumbest reason ever... or at least wont tell him the truth. Then he states that maybe she'd rather bang some muscle-fuck meat-head. What chick doesn't want to be fucked and mistreated by some jackoff who goes into a 'roid induced Hulk-rage at the drop of a hat? At least he looks good, right ladies? Anyway, back to the pack mentality... So these girls and their soccer-club are pretty much a gumbo of sorority-life with all of the backstabbing, crying, beauty-queen drama mixed with a thick gravy of testosterone from workouts and training. Not to mention these are the same girls that cheat on their boyfriends. Maybe that's why EB's comment struck a chord. Perhaps he's on to your little game, ladies?
And yes, I'm in the defend EB club.
Now the funny news. Seems as though EB got into a little bit of trouble for writing some comment about his ex fucking a meat-head. What a joke. Granted, EB did fly off the handle a little bit, but he in no way, shape or form said anything about her cheating on him. He stated that since he didn't know why the fuck she broke it off and the only reason she could come up with (and a really dumb one at that) was because she'd be moving to CA eventually. When's eventually you might ask. Hmm... recent estimates point to about 1 year. That's right ladies and gentlemen, her reasoning was to break up with him was because she would probably be moving to CA in about a year. I call shenanigans!
To top this all off, since she's a soccer chick living with other soccer chicks, they all have the sorority mentality and come running to her aid like EB did something wrong. Heaven forbid he actually be upset at the fact she broke up with him for quite possibly the dumbest reason ever... or at least wont tell him the truth. Then he states that maybe she'd rather bang some muscle-fuck meat-head. What chick doesn't want to be fucked and mistreated by some jackoff who goes into a 'roid induced Hulk-rage at the drop of a hat? At least he looks good, right ladies? Anyway, back to the pack mentality... So these girls and their soccer-club are pretty much a gumbo of sorority-life with all of the backstabbing, crying, beauty-queen drama mixed with a thick gravy of testosterone from workouts and training. Not to mention these are the same girls that cheat on their boyfriends. Maybe that's why EB's comment struck a chord. Perhaps he's on to your little game, ladies?
And yes, I'm in the defend EB club.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Stay the hell away from me if you know what's good for ya...
Holy shit, what a summer so far. I'm still a dateless basement troll, but so far it seems like a better situation to be in compared to some people I know. Left and right people are going through rough times with their significant others. Tough times people... hot ass, steamy weather and shitty relationship issues. Not a good mix.
Looks like EB is heading out to go hiking or camping or some other homo-erotic outdoorsy, tree-humping thing. No idea who he's going with, but I hope he gets some well-deserved ass. Remember EB, just make sure he drinks a lot of liquor first so he'll be more open to the idea.
Looks like EB is heading out to go hiking or camping or some other homo-erotic outdoorsy, tree-humping thing. No idea who he's going with, but I hope he gets some well-deserved ass. Remember EB, just make sure he drinks a lot of liquor first so he'll be more open to the idea.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
rollin rollin rollin... RAWHIDE!
Time for another bi-annual update to the trusty little blog here. I'm thinking people should print out what I have to say here and read it on the shitter. That's where this drivel belongs anyway. I'm still playing WoW... 7 months now. The worst part is, I think I'm more involved now than I used to be. We waited and waited for some others to do it, but I ended up being handed the reigns for the website for the guild website. Hey, I know that increases my dorkfactor by at least 10, but at least I get to work on a website again. I'm nothing compared to EB as far as design goes... or anything else really.
Speaking of EB, he got me started on this whole MySpace deal. Yours truly can be found here. Eric is linked off of my page so you can see his too. Since this whole MySpace thing, he's gotten in touch with some real hotties. Go figure his g/f dumps him and he gets back in contact with young, hot friends. I actually hit him up on IM about it earlier today because I got an idea:
(Names removed to protect the innocent... and EB's chances)
Let's Go LIONS! says:
are you gonna fuck this chick or what?
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
lol
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
YES!
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
after i hump xxx
Let's Go LIONS! says:
fuckin hog
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
dude, i'm such a pimp
Let's Go LIONS! says:
lol
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
here's my message to her:
(blah blah blah it's not important)
Let's Go LIONS! says:
yeah, you're pimp
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
There is so much pimpness I have to offer, i need a wheelbarrow to carry it all around
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
was that good?
Let's Go LIONS! says:
you're so pimp
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
i know
Let's Go LIONS! says:
I'm gonna ride your jock all the way to Pussytown.
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
lol
Let's Go LIONS! says:
GIDEYUP MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
Get on BUCK-A-ROO!
Let's Go LIONS! says:
woop! Woop! WOOP!!!
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
lol
Let's Go LIONS! says:
I wonder if I'll last the necessary 8 seconds there at the Pussytown Rodeo.
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
oh, you'll last, b/c you'll have me with you
Let's Go LIONS! says:
lol
Let's Go LIONS! says:
you're gonna be around while I'm fucking?
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
coaching you... telling you everything will be all right
So there you have it. I'm The Bone Ranger's sidekick... Let's RIDE!
Speaking of EB, he got me started on this whole MySpace deal. Yours truly can be found here. Eric is linked off of my page so you can see his too. Since this whole MySpace thing, he's gotten in touch with some real hotties. Go figure his g/f dumps him and he gets back in contact with young, hot friends. I actually hit him up on IM about it earlier today because I got an idea:
(Names removed to protect the innocent... and EB's chances)
Let's Go LIONS! says:
are you gonna fuck this chick or what?
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
lol
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
YES!
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
after i hump xxx
Let's Go LIONS! says:
fuckin hog
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
dude, i'm such a pimp
Let's Go LIONS! says:
lol
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
here's my message to her:
(blah blah blah it's not important)
Let's Go LIONS! says:
yeah, you're pimp
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
There is so much pimpness I have to offer, i need a wheelbarrow to carry it all around
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
was that good?
Let's Go LIONS! says:
you're so pimp
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
i know
Let's Go LIONS! says:
I'm gonna ride your jock all the way to Pussytown.
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
lol
Let's Go LIONS! says:
GIDEYUP MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
Get on BUCK-A-ROO!
Let's Go LIONS! says:
woop! Woop! WOOP!!!
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
lol
Let's Go LIONS! says:
I wonder if I'll last the necessary 8 seconds there at the Pussytown Rodeo.
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
oh, you'll last, b/c you'll have me with you
Let's Go LIONS! says:
lol
Let's Go LIONS! says:
you're gonna be around while I'm fucking?
Hung like Orestes "Macho" Lopez says:
coaching you... telling you everything will be all right
So there you have it. I'm The Bone Ranger's sidekick... Let's RIDE!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
like a fine wine
I'm 27 years old, but deep down I'm still a hormone enraged teen. I laugh at stupid jokes, I like staring at boobies, I think girls are stupid and I laugh every time I hear someone fart... especially when I'm in the bathroom at work.
Yeah, it's really amazing to see how much I've grown and matured since I was 14 years old. Top it off with the fact that I play video games to the point of detriment of just about everything else (chores, social life, intellecutal activities...) and I've really grown a lot as a human being. To my credit, I cant see myself locking my best friend in the room after he beats me in a game of hockey anymore. I'd still manage to get pissed about a friendly game, but lock the door and go cry... nah, not after 13 more years of life experience. Like I said, it's really amazing to take a step back and see how much I've grown since my early teens.
All that being said, the Pistons won last night against the favored Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals. I'm sure Corey Rumpkin has already masturbated every 10 minutes for the past 16 hours since the Pistons won since he's going to have the Finals matchup he had wet dreams about all season.
Spurs vs Pistons truly is a baskeball fan's porn on primetime tv. Two teams that play team-oriented, offensive ball and aggressive, in-your-face defense. Did I just say "In-your-face defense"? Yet another confirmation that I'm a complete loser.
Yeah, it's really amazing to see how much I've grown and matured since I was 14 years old. Top it off with the fact that I play video games to the point of detriment of just about everything else (chores, social life, intellecutal activities...) and I've really grown a lot as a human being. To my credit, I cant see myself locking my best friend in the room after he beats me in a game of hockey anymore. I'd still manage to get pissed about a friendly game, but lock the door and go cry... nah, not after 13 more years of life experience. Like I said, it's really amazing to take a step back and see how much I've grown since my early teens.
All that being said, the Pistons won last night against the favored Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals. I'm sure Corey Rumpkin has already masturbated every 10 minutes for the past 16 hours since the Pistons won since he's going to have the Finals matchup he had wet dreams about all season.
Spurs vs Pistons truly is a baskeball fan's porn on primetime tv. Two teams that play team-oriented, offensive ball and aggressive, in-your-face defense. Did I just say "In-your-face defense"? Yet another confirmation that I'm a complete loser.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Just Call me Peter Gibbons
Haysus Kristo it's been a long time since I posted. Let's see how this goes...
I got to take my first vacation in about 2 years during the final week of April. I did absolutely nothing and loved every bit of it. Working for a corporation has given me an even greater appreciation for Office Space. I value my time spent away from my job more and more. Every monday, I find myself working towards the end of the day friday. Is this bad? No. I dont hate my job, I dont hate anyone I work with. I just find my personal time much better than doing shit I have to do for a paycheck.
So while I'm on vacation, doing nothing, I find out my coworker gets laid off. Fuckin great. Here we have a 2 person job and 1 gets laid off. Whoopee! And why? Budget cuts is the answer of course. You're taking a person who worked hard, didn't fuck up, complained a bit, did her job well, and laid her off. Then you take me, pull me into your office, tell me about how she got laid off and why, and then give me a raise.
Corporate America IS Office Space people. You get fuckwads in middle management who dont actually do anything telling the hardworkers what to do. No offense to those who dont have a "formal" education and have made it on their own, but I'd like to send out a good old-fashioned "Fuck You!" to any sycophantical, G.E.D. edjimicated, middle-management rim-jobber. Next time I'm in one of your offices, I'll be sure to let one go on your cushy chair so your boss can smell it when you plop down in it with your pleased as punch attitude.
Sure, I whine and complain that I have a lot of work to do. So would most people that are suddenly found doing the job that took 2 of you to do for the past year. I try not to bitch about it at work but this is MY blog. I DO WHAT I WANT!
Pedro found a job so that's good. I still hear the usual two things from him, but at least I can tell him to fuck off. Now when he says "I'm bored." or "I'm hungry." I can follow it up with "Go pay for something to do." or "Go buy some food." Yeah, I'm witty... Fuck you.
Oh, one last thing before I have to sign off for another month. I got my Jury Duty summoning papers over this past weekend. I'm kind of excited to go, but I'll be missing out on most of my pay. I love how jobs fuck you in the ass for doing your civic duties. Dont put preachy, christian bible bullshit all over my paycheck and then rip me off of most of my pay because I need to be a civil servant for a few days. I think you need to find a new moral compass to help guide your way to ethical treatment of employees. Either that, or take your bible compass and shove it up your ass.
I got to take my first vacation in about 2 years during the final week of April. I did absolutely nothing and loved every bit of it. Working for a corporation has given me an even greater appreciation for Office Space. I value my time spent away from my job more and more. Every monday, I find myself working towards the end of the day friday. Is this bad? No. I dont hate my job, I dont hate anyone I work with. I just find my personal time much better than doing shit I have to do for a paycheck.
So while I'm on vacation, doing nothing, I find out my coworker gets laid off. Fuckin great. Here we have a 2 person job and 1 gets laid off. Whoopee! And why? Budget cuts is the answer of course. You're taking a person who worked hard, didn't fuck up, complained a bit, did her job well, and laid her off. Then you take me, pull me into your office, tell me about how she got laid off and why, and then give me a raise.
Corporate America IS Office Space people. You get fuckwads in middle management who dont actually do anything telling the hardworkers what to do. No offense to those who dont have a "formal" education and have made it on their own, but I'd like to send out a good old-fashioned "Fuck You!" to any sycophantical, G.E.D. edjimicated, middle-management rim-jobber. Next time I'm in one of your offices, I'll be sure to let one go on your cushy chair so your boss can smell it when you plop down in it with your pleased as punch attitude.
Sure, I whine and complain that I have a lot of work to do. So would most people that are suddenly found doing the job that took 2 of you to do for the past year. I try not to bitch about it at work but this is MY blog. I DO WHAT I WANT!
Pedro found a job so that's good. I still hear the usual two things from him, but at least I can tell him to fuck off. Now when he says "I'm bored." or "I'm hungry." I can follow it up with "Go pay for something to do." or "Go buy some food." Yeah, I'm witty... Fuck you.
Oh, one last thing before I have to sign off for another month. I got my Jury Duty summoning papers over this past weekend. I'm kind of excited to go, but I'll be missing out on most of my pay. I love how jobs fuck you in the ass for doing your civic duties. Dont put preachy, christian bible bullshit all over my paycheck and then rip me off of most of my pay because I need to be a civil servant for a few days. I think you need to find a new moral compass to help guide your way to ethical treatment of employees. Either that, or take your bible compass and shove it up your ass.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Vegetable Soup
Terri Schiavo this, Terri Schiavo that. Look, I feel bad for the woman... 15 years ago when she had an eating disorder that led to her heart attack / stroke / brain damage. I'm all for preservation of life. I genuinely feel sorry for her entire family for having to go through this. The thing is, she shoulda died a LONG time ago. I dont know the FULL story but isn't it normal procedure to monitor someone like this after her collapse and recovery and decide w/in the first few months whether or not to remove the life support? Isn't that the husband's decision to make right then and there? How did it even come to this poor woman laying in a bed for the next 15 years just chillin?
Monday, March 21, 2005
Please stow your traytables and return your seats to the upright position
I finally got my skinny-ass out this weekend and had a good time. Friday night I was supposed to go out to the bar and watch the P-Stones with TJer, but I had more pressing matters to attend to. Namely, I had to build a rig for the new PS2 vibrator. I call it my sex chair. Damn it makes playing GT4 easier... as well as adding fuel to the dork fire. "Call the fire department! This one's outta control!"
Saturday, I managed to wake up in time to head over to Ypsi for a night out at Divine with the Bro-shat and some others. I got to shake my groove thing a little bit, but the rest of the time I was spittin game with a super hottie... and by spittin game, I mean trying to talk to a really hot chick... and by trying to talk I mean mumbling and bumbling around words like "nice" and "hair". "Hewwo. My name is Dugwus and you hab niiiiice hair." I'm such a fuckin pimp it's rediculous. I think the only reason I actually got her phone number later that evening is because she feels sorry for me being mentally handicapped and figured that I have no idea how to use a phone anyway.
The ladies we were with actually got the super-hottie and her friend to come back to the bro-shats hizzie post Divine to drink and talk some more. I used this opportunity to corner her and scare her into giving me her number. Actually, it wasn't the cornering that did it. I think it was my dancing skills that scared her out of her digits. Scotty (some hot guy with a huge wang) decided that it'd be a good idea to put on a thong and strut his stuff around in front of the ladies, then J-Bone followed suit, so I had to as well. I made J-Nel give me the panties she was wearing. Some nice blue lace do-hickeys made for a woman 5'5" 100lbs... and sans junk in the junkyard. So I got the panties on, but just barely.
The knob out the top and the beans out either side, I ran out to living room where the ladies had just finished laughing at J-Bone's antics. Some sort of techno was blaring so I just let the music take me. Dancing in ladies panties was a new experience for me. For some reason, each hip thrust felt longer and deeper. I got goosebumps on my free-swingin' balls until someone decided to try to flick the kids. That was my cue to head on backstage and put my boy clothes back on.
Whether or not I actually ever talk to this chick again, at least I can tell people that I got a super-hot flight attendant to look at my balls.
Saturday, I managed to wake up in time to head over to Ypsi for a night out at Divine with the Bro-shat and some others. I got to shake my groove thing a little bit, but the rest of the time I was spittin game with a super hottie... and by spittin game, I mean trying to talk to a really hot chick... and by trying to talk I mean mumbling and bumbling around words like "nice" and "hair". "Hewwo. My name is Dugwus and you hab niiiiice hair." I'm such a fuckin pimp it's rediculous. I think the only reason I actually got her phone number later that evening is because she feels sorry for me being mentally handicapped and figured that I have no idea how to use a phone anyway.
The ladies we were with actually got the super-hottie and her friend to come back to the bro-shats hizzie post Divine to drink and talk some more. I used this opportunity to corner her and scare her into giving me her number. Actually, it wasn't the cornering that did it. I think it was my dancing skills that scared her out of her digits. Scotty (some hot guy with a huge wang) decided that it'd be a good idea to put on a thong and strut his stuff around in front of the ladies, then J-Bone followed suit, so I had to as well. I made J-Nel give me the panties she was wearing. Some nice blue lace do-hickeys made for a woman 5'5" 100lbs... and sans junk in the junkyard. So I got the panties on, but just barely.
The knob out the top and the beans out either side, I ran out to living room where the ladies had just finished laughing at J-Bone's antics. Some sort of techno was blaring so I just let the music take me. Dancing in ladies panties was a new experience for me. For some reason, each hip thrust felt longer and deeper. I got goosebumps on my free-swingin' balls until someone decided to try to flick the kids. That was my cue to head on backstage and put my boy clothes back on.
Whether or not I actually ever talk to this chick again, at least I can tell people that I got a super-hot flight attendant to look at my balls.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Cannon Fodder
For the past couple weeks, why is it that whenever I've take a dump I feel like I'm just wiping the poop around my ass instead of off it? It's like I'm using shit mortar to stick my two brick ass-cheeks together. This wouldn't be bad if my asscheeks were actually bricks... then the damn sandpaper we have at work to wipe with wouldn't hurt so much on the 42nd lap around the Preparation-H 500.
Still playing WoW like a fiend.
Still a big loser.
Got Gran Turismo 4 on PS2 and it kicks ass. Not enough ass kicking to make me stop paying 15 bones per month for WoW, but it's waiting patiently to be my next girlfriend. Especially when my birthday comes and I get my new vibrator. Yeah, she's wet with anticipation... and let's be honest. So am I.
Hold on checking something....
Yep, still a loser...
Still playing WoW like a fiend.
Still a big loser.
Got Gran Turismo 4 on PS2 and it kicks ass. Not enough ass kicking to make me stop paying 15 bones per month for WoW, but it's waiting patiently to be my next girlfriend. Especially when my birthday comes and I get my new vibrator. Yeah, she's wet with anticipation... and let's be honest. So am I.
Hold on checking something....
Yep, still a loser...
Monday, January 31, 2005
Cold Days in my Hell
If addiction is hell, mine is populated with trolls, orcs, elves and dwarves. I've realized that yes, I'm addicted to the game. I thought I could avoid getting addicted to any one again, but it's of no use. Any time you're willing to sit down in your basement for at least 3 hours at a time, when it's 58 degrees down there, bundled up with 3 layers of clothing and blankets, and then run out and buy a space-heater just so you can play a couple hours longer before your hands go numb, you know you're addicted. Let's not get into too much depth about my "emotional state" the past few nights when the server was fucked up and kept booting me out. I was angry, sad, remorseful... I felt like I had been betrayed by a girlfriend... which I will never have again if I continue on my current path along the roads of Azeroth/Hell. Someone put some female flesh in front of me. Maybe it'll be the smelling salts to my coma of addiction.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Yeah, so what?
Ok, I know you're dissapointed that I haven't been updating. Yes, I've been playing entirely too much WoW. Normally I update my blog while at work anyway, so that's a non-factor. I've just been busy so deal with it. All 3 of you.
The move came and went... and sucked ass the entire week it took. At least I had the family in town for help. Over the past two weeks I've actually put less mileage on my car than I did during 1 work day commuting to and from work so that's good. All of the money I'll save on gas should come in handy when supporting my drinking habits.
A couple of things have changed since we moved, but most has stayed the same. Dr. Dro quit his job because he had a jackass boss. Don't most people? He's been searching ALL OVER the place looking for a new job... well, he's bee searching ALL OVER the Internet for a job. Who am I to talk though? If I quit my job, I'd be sitting in my computer chair all night, dick in hand, playing WoW. Fuck looking for a job.
Willy Nilly and TJ seem to be settling into the new house as well. I haven't been up in their room for over a week though so I'm not 100% sure on that evaluation... and I don't see them very much since I spend most of my time in the catacombs and they like their upstairs bedroom.
The move came and went... and sucked ass the entire week it took. At least I had the family in town for help. Over the past two weeks I've actually put less mileage on my car than I did during 1 work day commuting to and from work so that's good. All of the money I'll save on gas should come in handy when supporting my drinking habits.
A couple of things have changed since we moved, but most has stayed the same. Dr. Dro quit his job because he had a jackass boss. Don't most people? He's been searching ALL OVER the place looking for a new job... well, he's bee searching ALL OVER the Internet for a job. Who am I to talk though? If I quit my job, I'd be sitting in my computer chair all night, dick in hand, playing WoW. Fuck looking for a job.
Willy Nilly and TJ seem to be settling into the new house as well. I haven't been up in their room for over a week though so I'm not 100% sure on that evaluation... and I don't see them very much since I spend most of my time in the catacombs and they like their upstairs bedroom.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
WoW
This post is for everyone that knows me as a video game / computer dork. Here's proof... and fuck you for calling me a dork.
All I have to say is WoW. For those of you not hip to the l33t-speak, WoW is short for World of Warcraft. It seems to fit though since that game is brilliant... as in, "Wow!! WoW kicks total ass!" I thought I was done with the video game addiction after I got over Quake 2, but WoW is like the methadone to Quake 2's heroine. Now I'm addicted to the methadone... and I hate it... but love it so much it's blowing my mind. For anyone that even remotely likes computer games and has an internet connection, buy the game and try it out. I'm trying to recruit others into my downward spiral of addiction.
All I have to say is WoW. For those of you not hip to the l33t-speak, WoW is short for World of Warcraft. It seems to fit though since that game is brilliant... as in, "Wow!! WoW kicks total ass!" I thought I was done with the video game addiction after I got over Quake 2, but WoW is like the methadone to Quake 2's heroine. Now I'm addicted to the methadone... and I hate it... but love it so much it's blowing my mind. For anyone that even remotely likes computer games and has an internet connection, buy the game and try it out. I'm trying to recruit others into my downward spiral of addiction.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
BasketBrawl
Ok, this has been the talk of most media for the past few days, and I sense people are getting sick of it so I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Pacers vs Pistons and the riot that ensued. Here are some of my opinions.
#1) Ron Artest is a complete jackass and needs to be thrown out of the NBA. ANY player that's been suspended 8 times previous and then attacks fans for a 9th suspension would be kicked out. Shit, he was thinking about retiring anyway to persue his dream of becoming a hip hop artist, right? There you go jackass, go be the next Rapper to get shot for being an ignorant thug just "keepin' it real".
#2) I'm embarrassed to be a Pistons fan right now. Sure you can say that this could have happened anywhere, but the fact remains that we are a championship team and WERE apparently world-class fans. Many stories here in the area came out about how responsible we were as fans and how we were a very strong factor in the Pistons championship run. Why then do we have to ruin it by throwing cups of beer, softdrinks, and food at a visiting team? What the FUCK were the dumbasses doing on the court when they got punched by O'Neal and Artest? Where was the security keeping the retards off the court? I think what I'm most upset about is now, as a Pistons fan, I will be bunched in the same category as these jagoffs that caused the riot.
#3) Could the Pistons organization fuck Rick Carlisle any harder up the ass? First off, his coaching style is VERY similar to Larry B. Dumars was already on his way to setting up the team for Ricky C with a team-oriented approach. So as soon as LB becomes available they fire Rick and hire in LB. Look, I love having Larry Brown as the coach for the Pistons, but I honestly think that Rick Carlisle would have done just as well. Then, the Pistons face the Pacers in the Conference finals last year and beat 'em. Mind you, O'Neal was playing on 1 leg after a nasty-looking hyperextension of his knee. Now come to present day and look what the Pistons managed to do to his team. The Pistons fans managed to take out the top 3 players for the Pacers in 10 minutes at the end of a blowout win for Indiana. Pending an appeal by the NBAPA, Carlisle is without all three of his top players for a minimum of 25 games and he lost his best defender for the season (and hopefully for good). I'm not one to defend the Pacers because they're such a good rival for the Pistons, but I just feel bad that Rick Carlisle's ass is bleeding from the constant beating from Detroit.
#1) Ron Artest is a complete jackass and needs to be thrown out of the NBA. ANY player that's been suspended 8 times previous and then attacks fans for a 9th suspension would be kicked out. Shit, he was thinking about retiring anyway to persue his dream of becoming a hip hop artist, right? There you go jackass, go be the next Rapper to get shot for being an ignorant thug just "keepin' it real".
#2) I'm embarrassed to be a Pistons fan right now. Sure you can say that this could have happened anywhere, but the fact remains that we are a championship team and WERE apparently world-class fans. Many stories here in the area came out about how responsible we were as fans and how we were a very strong factor in the Pistons championship run. Why then do we have to ruin it by throwing cups of beer, softdrinks, and food at a visiting team? What the FUCK were the dumbasses doing on the court when they got punched by O'Neal and Artest? Where was the security keeping the retards off the court? I think what I'm most upset about is now, as a Pistons fan, I will be bunched in the same category as these jagoffs that caused the riot.
#3) Could the Pistons organization fuck Rick Carlisle any harder up the ass? First off, his coaching style is VERY similar to Larry B. Dumars was already on his way to setting up the team for Ricky C with a team-oriented approach. So as soon as LB becomes available they fire Rick and hire in LB. Look, I love having Larry Brown as the coach for the Pistons, but I honestly think that Rick Carlisle would have done just as well. Then, the Pistons face the Pacers in the Conference finals last year and beat 'em. Mind you, O'Neal was playing on 1 leg after a nasty-looking hyperextension of his knee. Now come to present day and look what the Pistons managed to do to his team. The Pistons fans managed to take out the top 3 players for the Pacers in 10 minutes at the end of a blowout win for Indiana. Pending an appeal by the NBAPA, Carlisle is without all three of his top players for a minimum of 25 games and he lost his best defender for the season (and hopefully for good). I'm not one to defend the Pacers because they're such a good rival for the Pistons, but I just feel bad that Rick Carlisle's ass is bleeding from the constant beating from Detroit.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Put on a Happy Face
Yes, all three of you can smile again, I'm updating my blog. I know it's been a while so here's my excuse. I was getting sick of filling my blog with sarcasm and negativity and since Bush won the election, I didn't have many positive thoughts. At least Powell resigned... even if it's after Bush tarnished him.
What's with all of the commercials on the radio for cosmetic surgery. Seriously, fuck these places. They lure people in with promises of beauty on their commercials and just make money off of unhappy ugly people. Ok, that was harsh. Most of these people dont even need cosmetic surgery. What's up with boob jobs given to 17 and 18 year olds? Do these women *ahem* girls even realize that they're not even done growing? You women gotta realize that you need to let the men (or other chicks) feel all up on the boobies until you're at least 25 before you run out and ruin the naturals. Tell you what, I'll even do it for free.
What's with all of the commercials on the radio for cosmetic surgery. Seriously, fuck these places. They lure people in with promises of beauty on their commercials and just make money off of unhappy ugly people. Ok, that was harsh. Most of these people dont even need cosmetic surgery. What's up with boob jobs given to 17 and 18 year olds? Do these women *ahem* girls even realize that they're not even done growing? You women gotta realize that you need to let the men (or other chicks) feel all up on the boobies until you're at least 25 before you run out and ruin the naturals. Tell you what, I'll even do it for free.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Ever Wonder what a Tralala is?
We have a winner for the best music video of the year folks. Sheeeeiit, this is song of the year, video of the year, artist of the year. You name the award, and this artist and his video needs to be at the top to win it. Without futher ado, I give you Touch My Tralala. WARNING! Put on some Depends before you start the video, you'll probably poop yourself. A very special thank you goes out to Barry Eye for sending me the link to this little gem.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Who needs religion?
I was driving home when it suddenly dawned on me that I've already had religious experiences... even if I'm not a church goer. I also realized that I suck at articulating meaning behind what I say so bear with me on this one.
I dated a completely non-religious, if not atheist chick. Never in my life had I ever felt more guilty. I'll go so far as to compare this chick to being catholic... that's what catholisism is all about right? Feeling guilty? Sure. Just like the catholic church where people go to confession and make shit up just so they could say they went, I'd talk to her about superficial bullshit to allow her and myself to feel, temporarily, at ease. Hell, talking is what it's all about right? Just say some shit about something simple to put the band-aid on. Ignore signs that the mole is just a sign of the melanoma quickly spreading throughout your body. We pressed on... feeling guilty but looking good... because we were good church goers, doing the normal church/relationship things. I stuck with it feeling it was the right thing to do. That's what good catholics do right? Regardless of how guilty the church/woman makes you feel for not praying/spending enough time, donating/spending money on her, and believing jesus is my savior/I'm nothing without her, you stick with religion/the woman because it's the right thing to do.
I eventually saw the light. Just like catholisism, what works for a lot of people didn't work for me. Do I regret it? No. I spent a year with her. Sometimes it was good, mostly it was bad. It taught me that I need to have my own way to worship a woman as well as the right woman to worship.
I dated a completely non-religious, if not atheist chick. Never in my life had I ever felt more guilty. I'll go so far as to compare this chick to being catholic... that's what catholisism is all about right? Feeling guilty? Sure. Just like the catholic church where people go to confession and make shit up just so they could say they went, I'd talk to her about superficial bullshit to allow her and myself to feel, temporarily, at ease. Hell, talking is what it's all about right? Just say some shit about something simple to put the band-aid on. Ignore signs that the mole is just a sign of the melanoma quickly spreading throughout your body. We pressed on... feeling guilty but looking good... because we were good church goers, doing the normal church/relationship things. I stuck with it feeling it was the right thing to do. That's what good catholics do right? Regardless of how guilty the church/woman makes you feel for not praying/spending enough time, donating/spending money on her, and believing jesus is my savior/I'm nothing without her, you stick with religion/the woman because it's the right thing to do.
I eventually saw the light. Just like catholisism, what works for a lot of people didn't work for me. Do I regret it? No. I spent a year with her. Sometimes it was good, mostly it was bad. It taught me that I need to have my own way to worship a woman as well as the right woman to worship.
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