Vegetable Soup

Terri Schiavo this, Terri Schiavo that. Look, I feel bad for the woman... 15 years ago when she had an eating disorder that led to her heart attack / stroke / brain damage. I'm all for preservation of life. I genuinely feel sorry for her entire family for having to go through this. The thing is, she shoulda died a LONG time ago. I dont know the FULL story but isn't it normal procedure to monitor someone like this after her collapse and recovery and decide w/in the first few months whether or not to remove the life support? Isn't that the husband's decision to make right then and there? How did it even come to this poor woman laying in a bed for the next 15 years just chillin?

Please stow your traytables and return your seats to the upright position

I finally got my skinny-ass out this weekend and had a good time. Friday night I was supposed to go out to the bar and watch the P-Stones with TJer, but I had more pressing matters to attend to. Namely, I had to build a rig for the new PS2 vibrator. I call it my sex chair. Damn it makes playing GT4 easier... as well as adding fuel to the dork fire. "Call the fire department! This one's outta control!"

Saturday, I managed to wake up in time to head over to Ypsi for a night out at Divine with the Bro-shat and some others. I got to shake my groove thing a little bit, but the rest of the time I was spittin game with a super hottie... and by spittin game, I mean trying to talk to a really hot chick... and by trying to talk I mean mumbling and bumbling around words like "nice" and "hair". "Hewwo. My name is Dugwus and you hab niiiiice hair." I'm such a fuckin pimp it's rediculous. I think the only reason I actually got her phone number later that evening is because she feels sorry for me being mentally handicapped and figured that I have no idea how to use a phone anyway.

The ladies we were with actually got the super-hottie and her friend to come back to the bro-shats hizzie post Divine to drink and talk some more. I used this opportunity to corner her and scare her into giving me her number. Actually, it wasn't the cornering that did it. I think it was my dancing skills that scared her out of her digits. Scotty (some hot guy with a huge wang) decided that it'd be a good idea to put on a thong and strut his stuff around in front of the ladies, then J-Bone followed suit, so I had to as well. I made J-Nel give me the panties she was wearing. Some nice blue lace do-hickeys made for a woman 5'5" 100lbs... and sans junk in the junkyard. So I got the panties on, but just barely.

The knob out the top and the beans out either side, I ran out to living room where the ladies had just finished laughing at J-Bone's antics. Some sort of techno was blaring so I just let the music take me. Dancing in ladies panties was a new experience for me. For some reason, each hip thrust felt longer and deeper. I got goosebumps on my free-swingin' balls until someone decided to try to flick the kids. That was my cue to head on backstage and put my boy clothes back on.

Whether or not I actually ever talk to this chick again, at least I can tell people that I got a super-hot flight attendant to look at my balls.

Cannon Fodder

For the past couple weeks, why is it that whenever I've take a dump I feel like I'm just wiping the poop around my ass instead of off it? It's like I'm using shit mortar to stick my two brick ass-cheeks together. This wouldn't be bad if my asscheeks were actually bricks... then the damn sandpaper we have at work to wipe with wouldn't hurt so much on the 42nd lap around the Preparation-H 500.

Still playing WoW like a fiend.

Still a big loser.

Got Gran Turismo 4 on PS2 and it kicks ass. Not enough ass kicking to make me stop paying 15 bones per month for WoW, but it's waiting patiently to be my next girlfriend. Especially when my birthday comes and I get my new vibrator. Yeah, she's wet with anticipation... and let's be honest. So am I.

Hold on checking something....
Yep, still a loser...